26 Signs You're a Douchebag.

Today, Christy and I went to Town Center Mall in Kennesaw. While we were seated devouring our Taco Bell, we people watched. After we had finished eating, we decided - based on the numerous guys who fit the criteria we named - to compile a written list of 26 signs that someone (a male someone) is a douchebag.

We know this is stupid and a bit immature, but it was fun as hell. After we wrote the list, we went around counting them. We saw 30 of them in about twenty minutes. Awesome, right? But without further adieu, here's the list - just in case!:

You might be a douchebag if...

1. You own/wear numerous pastel/white polo shirts.
2. You wear a Lids hat tilted just to the side like it's cool. (Hint: It's not.)
3. You wear your sunglasses on your head when inside a building.
4. You actually spent $60 on pre-ripped jeans. (I'm sure you could've done that yourself and saved some money.)
5. You constantly wear a cocky smirk that just SCREAMS 'I'm a tool.'
6. You only have one earring because you think it's cool or something.
7. You WEAR FUCKING SANDALS IN ANY WEATHER.
8. You always have an entourage of snobby girls or your douchebag friends.
9. You drive an expensive SUV (or occasionally a souped up truck.)
10. You actually spend two hours STYLING your hair to look like you just woke up (then you put on that stupid freaking cap.)
11. You wear khaki pants. Because NOTHING says "I'm cool" like khaki.
12. You attempt to smell good by using aftershave, but you actually choose the WORST brand and use FAR too much of it.
13. You own and wear a puka shell necklace. Dude, seriously?
14. You drink nothing but energy drinks. Constantly. Who needs THAT much energy?
15. You OWN SPERRY's. Enough said.
16. You wear athletic wear when you've not been anywhere NEAR a gym or field.
17. You find it necessary to remind everyone you love Apple by taking your iPad, iPhone, and iPod everywhere. We get it. You're Steve Jobs' bitch.
18. The only music you listen to is rap. :|
19. The only type of jacket you'll wear is a Northface jacket because who cares if you're cold as long as it's Northface?
20. You're a brand whore. You spend massive amounts of money on something just for the name brand, which you make sure is COMPLETELY visible. (Hollister called, they're wondering if you'd be interested in being a mannequin.)
21. You attempt to "match," but fail by using two varying colors of yellow. (I saw you today, tool.)
22. You wear swimsuit trunks as shorts... in all weather. WTF?
23. You actually OWN bling.
24. You never actually seem to have a job (because you're always free), but you still seem to have money.
25. You hit on girls and expect them to fawn all over you so when they don't you call them a lesbian.
26. You're an ASSHAT.

I hope this has helped you. 

Love,

Mella