Nostalgia Ahoy!

So, I was on the site that shall not be named a few minutes ago and I was reminded of the time that Jenny and I first REALLY bonded.

I don't remember where Kayla was, but I remember us laying in the floor and watching the Covenant on my computer. I will absolutely never forget that moment. It was the moment we went from being roommates to really being friends.

I'm really sentimental about stuff like that. Memories are bittersweet.

I know it's kind of dumb to be blogging about something like this at 4AM, but I just thought about it and it really just made me think. Because of Steven Strait, Chase Crawford and that Taylor Kisch guy, I found one of my best friends on Earth. :)

I should write them a thank you letter or something.

Love,
Mella

p.s. "Anti-Social Network; 'You don't get to five friends without awkwardly avoiding a few glances.'" Autumn and I are hilarious. Even if we're the only ones who think so.

Today; In a Nutshell.

Today has consisted of me freaking out again and again about my religion paper. I've been trying to work on it since Friday and it just hasn't been going my way. I'm not sure what to write or what he wants. I've just been crying and pitching a fit a lot, which I know is immature, but I'm just really stressed right now.

After a long day of crying and screaming and cussing and all manner of other things, I finally finished the hideous piece of shit and submitted it. I can only hope I don't fail it.

Now all I lack is my final exam, which, I hope I'll do well on. I doubt it though because it's ANOTHER paper. Please excuse me whilst I bash my head on the wall.

In closing, this has been my playlist for this weekend:

• The Cave - Mumford & Sons
• Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
• The Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
• Winter Winds - Mumford & Sons
• That Dress Looks Nice on You - Sufjan Stevens
• Boy With a Coin - Iron & Wine
• White Blank Page - Mumford & Sons
• Flightless Bird - Iron & Wine
• I Gave You All - Mumford & Sons

Hope you're staying sane, because I'm definitely not,
Mella

p.s. IS MERCURY IN RETROGRADE OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I KEEP FUCKING EVERYTHING UP WHEN I TYPE?!
p.p.s. It's bad that I can't remember when I last washed my hair, right? :/

Boy With a Coin;

I've been listening to this song repeatedly over the course of the last few hours.
It's absolutely brilliant.

Thank you, Christy.

New Favorite Thing to Do?

Go to Abbey Road Live Cam and Rainy Mood at the same time. Regardless of if it's actually raining on Abbey Road/in London or not, the combination is absolutely the most soothing thing I think I've ever experienced in my life.

:)

And also angels.

Love,
Mella

p.s. If you get this reference, I hereby love you. If not, I still love you.

"You're always just so happy."

So, tonight, on my way to the last class of EDU 318, I was cornered by my EDU 325 teacher (from last semester.) for almost an hour! She just kept talking to me and asking how I was, which classes I was taking, how I was doing in them. She also kept complimenting me, which I would generally hate (due to not feeling like I deserve it), but I don't feel she was being truly sincere, so I didn't really mind it. I think she just wants people to like her so she tells them things she wants to hear.

Anyway, after I finally ran away from her, I met my EDU 318 teacher as I walked to the room and she said, and I quote, "You're always so happy."

It would probably be an understatement to say that that comment completely side-swiped me. I don't think I ever look happy - but most especially not at school (or in her class.) But apparently she's got this image of me being a happy go lucky girl. It totally blew me out of the water. Like, in what world am I happy go lucky? It's obviously not this one.

In fact, I've been told when I'm just sitting around and not focusing on my facial features, I look downright pissed. But, honest to God, that's just how my face looks. My face just isn't very expressive. It's just kind of there. Plain. Nothing really out of the ordinary. That's why I find it really odd that she thinks I'm always so happy. I mean... really?

I'm not complaining. I'm just.. shocked. No one's every told me that before.

Though I shouldn't be surprised. People rarely tell me nice things about myself. (Except for my friends when I make them feel really sorry for me by pouting about my sad existence! Hahaha!)

But it really just got me thinking... I don't want to say what about because I don't want to be disappointed in myself if I write it out and I completely let it fall through... So I'm just going to say that I'm thinking... and reflecting... and being really "intrapersonal."

So, yeah.

I hope you guys've had a great week.

I'll be happy when I'm done with religion.

Love,
Mella

p.s. I can't look at the live Abbey Road cam without crying now. Christy, I absolutely forbid you to go without me.

Yesterday Was Eventful...

My computer just randomly stopped wanting to connect to the internet and I swear, I flipped my shit all over everyone.

I finally broke down and called Toshiba and thankfully got a really nice man named Larry who saved me from myself. (I was about to throw the damned thing out the window!)

Now I've had the opportunity to study a bit for Geology and finish my Naturalist Intelligence thing. I just have to study more for my test tomorrow and finish my reflection.

Then, after EDU is over, all I'll have to do is write up my religion stuff, which sounds a lot easier than it actually is. PAPERS GALORE. :(

Regardless, here's to getting it all done and HOPEFULLY good grades.
I'd like to be on the Dean's List again - and not just because I desperately need HOPE scholarship back!

Love,
Mella

As If Anyone Was Concerned...

This week has thus far been - and will continue to be - one of the most stressful weeks of this semester. Two of my classes end this week (the week before spring break) and I am scrambling to get everything done for both of them. It's not so much my fault for procrastinating this time - shocker! It's actually just large part in due to the snow and all the canceled classes. Things are so far behind so now we're all running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to catch up in time to make the deadlines.

I'll get through it. I always do. But that doesn't mean this week won't be one of me worrying. I'll be freaking out until the last thing is submitted.

After it is though, I can sit back and enjoy my week off! It's super early and that's kind of obnoxious, but it'll be okay. :) I'll only have three classes when we go back and they won't be too terribly awful. Additionally, I get to see Jenny next weekend, so I'm pretty psyched about that. :)

I love seeing Jenny. Especially when it's Christy and I who are going to visit her~ I just wish Kayla could come. She had to go and have a job and a life though. Weirdo.

Haha.

Aside from all of that school related mumbo jumbo, not much is going on.

I did rock a Hufflepuff look today and preach about anti-bullying and how love is and will always be love - regardless of gender, race, religion & etc. It seems I love preaching about equality. Mainly because it's one of the things I still believe in.

I believe that everyone deserves love. Except me. Go figure.

Hope you're having a great week! The weather's starting to get nice!

Love,
Mella

Comparison?

March 12, 2010

February 19, 2011

Actually, yes, this IS a copout of actually having to blog. Get off my back.

I still love you.

Love,

Mella

This is actually a really pointless post.

So, this girl asked me if there was anything I'd like to change about my life.
And I'm really torn.
Between?
Well, I'd like to keep everything as it is because I'd like to be the same person.
Compassionate. Open minded. Caring. Considerate. Sweet.
But I'd really like to have had more affection and attention growing up.
Less of people telling me I suck.
Because maybe then I wouldn't feel like a total failure and hate myself when I say nice things about myself.
Like just then. Where the fuck do I get off saying shit like that?
I feel really full of myself when I find good things about myself. 
It makes me really loathe myself.
I think you're brilliant.

Love,
Mella

Feelings. Ugh.

I love being there for people. I like being someone they can rely on and who can help them through stuff.

But I also like it when people consider MY feelings.

I feel really selfish for even SAYING that, but sometimes I think it's necessary to just step back and look at how you're affecting people.

I feel used. Really used. I just want to cry and stomp my feet and yell. 

But I can't because it's almost 3 AM. 

I'm sorry for those of you who are reading this. I'm just ranting. 

But I'm really hurt.

Because this is the one thing I can do: caring.

And it just feels like sometimes people manipulate that.

Love,
Mella

Can I Just?

 

I'm going to be honest. Those meant a great deal to me, but not nearly as much as this:

I wrote Christy a message in her ask on the site that shall not be named and her response made me cry. 

I love all of my friends so much and just to hear something like that... it just makes my entire life.

Thank you so much.

Happy Monday!

(Because today ISN'T a holiday.)

Love,

Mella

It's Been Such a Good Weekend So Far! :D

So, Thursday afternoon, Christy came to visit! :) It was awkward at first (as it generally is with us), but we eventually soldier through it and watched some movies. Then we ate some pizza. Then we watched more movies. Then we ate some pie. Haha. All in all, a pretty good day.

Yesterday, we got up and decided we would go to Rome to try to find her a book and a dress. (Needed for two completely different things.) We got to Calhoun, met with dad, went to Rome and Barnes and Noble didn't have the book. We headdesk'd over that before heading to Ross and finding her the cutest dress ever. :)

Then we decided to go eat at Las Palmas before heading to Berry. It was the first time Christy had been there since she visited me when I lived in Thomas Berry. She hadn't seen the "renovations" yet, so... there was that. We went to the library to see if A. they had the book she needed and B. she could print out the papers she needed for her Poe presentation (which will surely be the best of all the presentations - I know, I've heard it!) However, Berry fails and neither had the book nor let us print. (Excuse me, but if your students are paying five gazillion dollars, can't you afford to let people use your ink without payment? )

So, we decided we'd head to Reinhardt where people can print things for free. We got there, she printed it out and then we headed to Cartersville to get things to make for dinner. We decided to be all nostalgic about it and kick it back to when we lived together. We made Greek Seasoned Chicken and garlic and cheese mashed potatoes. And, of course, we got Ben and Jerry's ice cream! (Phish Food!)

After our spectacular meal, we watched The Wallflower and I've become addicted to see what's going to happen~ (So after this, I'll probably finish it. Only seven more episodes total!)

Christy just left about an hour ago. She had to go to Kennesaw to get a book for Poe.

I had a lot of fun and I'm glad she came. We really do understand each other's weirdness. :) (Oui!)

Aside from that, I got my package from Kayla yesterday and squealed like a little girl!

She had boxed up a bunch of Valentines' chocolate with a note that said: "This is to help you recover from those soul sucking dementors called professors! Happy Valentine's Day!" It made my life! :) There's a HUGE Hershey's Bar and tons of little things.

It was really just one of the best things ever. :)

I'm really thankful for all of my friends. I just want to remind you guys what a positive impact you've had on my life. All of you. Jenny, Christy, Meghan, Autumn, Kayla, Kali, Jilly, Savvy, etc.
I love you! :D

Love,
Mella

Just a Little Rant;

It's really hard to be happy for someone when all they do is shove their happiness in your face.

I mean, I'm a pretty tolerant person (I'd like to think), but sometimes, you just need to know when to quit.

Also, being single on Valentine's Day doesn't have to suck. Pair up with a friend. Do something fun. Screw that commercial holiday. Because ugly fuzzy gifts and bad tasting chocolates are far less important than just loving people.

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Or something. Yay Plato.

Love,
Mella

p.s. Yes. I still dislike Valentine's Day and all it stands for. (Which isn't much. Except materialism.)

Update from the Sleep Deprived;

Not much has happened since I last blogged. Mostly because I've been extraordinarily lazy since. I did manage to get a few things done on my list though. Like, for example, I'm almost better, I have my PED 100 book, and I did my religion work (though it was a day late, but let's not focus on that.)

I really hope this week goes as well as last week went (aside from the illnesses.) Everything went better than expected - especially with evening classes getting canceled.

Now all I have to do is study like a fool for my tests on Thursday and everything'll be peachy keen :)

Love,
Mella

To-Do List:

So, my to do list goes as follows:

• Do REL 101!
• Mail Autumn's gift!
• Get PED 100 book!
• Study for PED 100!
• Study for GEO 125!
• Exercise!
• GET BETTER!

Pretty much in that order. Except for the last two!

Sorry for the short post, but I have a turkey sandwich calling my name~

I Know.

I know I haven't updated in a while. Mainly because I've actually been writing in my journal when things happen. But also because nothing has happened to me lately that I feel is worth much mention.

It's snowing right now and my six o'clock class was canceled (as were all the rest of the evening classes.) So, I've spent the last hour dicking around on Polyvore.

Let me just say - right now - that I love Polyvore. Sometimes it royally irritates me, but most days, it's a god send when I'm bored.

And I've been making set after set after set all week. I've made a London sets for Christy, Autumn and myself. I've made "House" outfits for Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, I made another set of all the houses semi-formal wear, and just now I made a set that describes me to a t. :) I also made a collage of all the boys I find attractive.

I'm thinking of posting the last two here. Mainly because I'm actually kind of ridiculously proud of them. :)

Melissa (To a T!) by Esmella on Polyvore.com


&

Flawless Men by Esmella on Polyvore.com

The others aren't that bad either, I'd say. But I'm not going to force you to look at them.

Other than that, I've really got nothing to say. Except that I might be sick and I hate it.