The Difficulty of This Surpasses My Expectations.

I didn't realize until right now how utterly difficult it is to write when you're forcing yourself to do so. I've been trying like crazy to motivate myself to write something these past few weeks (with slight nudges from Lilly, of course), but to no avail.

I simply cannot write unless I am inspired. Yet my inspiraiton is so sporadic and fickle that I can never manage to summon it. And then when I'm inspired, I cannot harness it. I have to write down everything I can in one sitting and then it's gone. If I try to go back to whatever I've written, I just can't.

I think it's because my mind has ADHD. I'll have an idea, but ten minutes later my mind will be going a completely different direction than I originally intended and the two contrasting ideals will war for a bit before fizzling out.

Which is why I'm not that great at writing. Because I'll get ideas, but then I can't force myself to write them. So when I finally write, I'm writing something completely different than I started out thinking about.

It's because of this that a lot of my best stories simply wither away and die in my brain. Quite unfortunate. I could've been the next "big thing." (For the record, I'm not sure I'd want this. Do you see what they've done to Twilight? Not cool.)

And really that's all I've got to say. It's super hard to force yourself to write when you're not really feeling it. And even if you can get something down to work with, it never feels right. It's second rate when there's nothing pushing you.

So if you're a writer and you don't have it in you to write, maybe you shouldn't try. Seek out things that give you inspiration. For me, it's the sky - at twilight or at dawn. And Owl City, obviously. Find these things that give you ideas and inspire you and allow your muse to settle until the words come as naturally as breathing. That's when stories are the best. :)