I'll be okay eventually. I'm just... not right now.
It's not anyone's fault but mine.
I'm so used to how my family treats me I'm unaccustomed to things like unconditional love and just doing things because you love someone.
Generally, you only do something because you expect something in return.
Which is why I don't like to let anyone do anything for me. I don't like to feel indebted. I'd prefer to pay for someone else and assure them I don't expect anything in return.
Grr. I just... I have so much bottled up and it's hard to get it all out when I have no idea how to.
I just wish I could be someone else sometimes. Someone worthy or capable of something awesome.
But I guess, for now, I'll just settle for being plain old boring Melissa. And hope that someone, somewhere will eventually be willing to say to me the following:
"Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well don't worry... I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you." - Charlie Brown, to Snoopy
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