Love Is All You Need.

"right now we are here and nothing can mar our perfection
or steal the joy of this perfect moment."

Things I Love Thursday: asdfghjkl.

You know those days when you wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself, flat out - no matter what, that today is gonna be a good day? Well, today is one of those days, ladies and gentlemen.

This morning, I woke with an intense desire for today to be a good day. And, though it might not've been perfect, it has been good.

For example, during my drive to school, I recieved a phone call that made me smile and laugh at the sheer stupidity that is mine and my best friend's relationship. We talked of nicknaming our computers, Liam Neeson, marrying movies and James Cameron in a Vera Wang.

And though I'm not exactly sure what chemicals in our brain are imbalanced, I do know that we we *get* each other. We share the same feelings - even when we don't realize it. It throws me for a loop each time I realize we're more alike than I originally thought.

But you're not here for an intense analysis for my friendships (though I could spend all week on it), so here's what you came for:

Things I Love Thursday

when random people recognize your amazing taste in music and commend you on it; finally getting chik-fil-a after what seems like forever (and probably has been); going to class completely prepared* (note: this is a rare feeling for me, i'm generally a slacker to my very core); imagining up better endings to depressing classics, but never actually thinking seriously about them being changed (i.e. the awakening); "and so he confessed it to her, he had fallen in love."; when boys hold open doors for you; having someone in a boring class who makes you laugh when you're wishing ill on your professor; when someone tells you "i love you" and you honestly, genuinely believe them; sleeping beneath a billion blankets when it's freezing outside; when your vocabulary automatically becomes better after you read a novel (or maybe this just happens for me, i start calling women lady/ma'am and men sir and saying old school words that you never hear anymore); that feeling you get before your last class where you know the weekend is ALMOST THERE; eric bana (no - i'm completely and totally serious, i am in love with him.); final fantasy X-2 (i blame you, kali); rippal (you won't understand this unless you've played FFX-2); keeping track of my schedule in a planner/feeling organized!; when your computer battery isn't flashing and telling you it'd about to die when you're writing your tilt!

no. i'm serious! i've gotta stop there.

but i leave you with this, dear reader(s):

[Sequel to Another Lie.]

Lies, each bigger than the last.

To keep you from seeing the disappointment.

Haven't you felt it enough?

If the lies never save you from it,

Then why do you keep it up?

They'll keep pursing their lips,

Their eyes will narrow more each time.

You're not the girl you know they want.

You're not the girl you know they need.

So why bother to be the best person you can?

I don't understand your logic.

Not trying is a failure. Just like you think you are.

So why don't you keep up with your lies?

Why don't you cry "oh poor, pitiful you" one more time?

Just go ahead. Give up.

You know I'll pick you up after you break us both with your lies.

I know you take full advantage of me.

__

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

[Untitled.]

Away, away, always away.
Never looking back. Not once.
Until the moment it all gives.
Then run, run with quick steps;
Stumbling now and again.
Back into the place where we're comfortable.
Why do we like to pretend?
Emotions are not so easily disregarded.
And yet we try again and again.
We realize our folly - mistakes made constantly.
But the words never come.
And we run again - away, always away.

_

It's personal, but vague. Isn't that what poetry's about?

Things I Love Thursday :)

It's rainin', it's pourin' - I wish I was a'snorin' :)

It's Thursday! Do you know what that means? Yep, that's right - I've got class until eight! Haha! Just kidding! It's time for a TILT! Are you ready? I don't think you are...

But here you go anyway ;)



outsmarting bored cops; when my iPod shuffle pleasantly suprises me with music i haven't listened to in a while; feeling confident about a test (this isn't me, but it does feel good, doesn't it?); when someone scares the heebeejeebee's out of you - it's hilarious, don't act like it isn't. even if it IS you; when people write hilarious things in your library (such as the captain planet theme song); sitting in the library for an hour or two before class doing nothing but reading and surfing the web; the occasional skipped class (cannot make this a habit. do you hear me, melissa? not a habit.); doing stuff before it's due for less stress - like reading the awakening a week before we have to have it read; when you can think of you cell phone as pensieve - holding your memories in the form of pictures, texts, and audio; when you realize something about yourself; realizing you're about to be mean and being able to stop yourself before you royally hurt someone - it's never good to inflict pain on someone, especially not if you can stop it; haunting the mall with best friends; heading home after a long, long day; "and in that moment, i swear, we were infinite."; cases of mistaken identity - "fdr walked softly and carried a big st-- oh wait."; waking up a few hours before your alarm's going to go off and realizing you can sleep longer!; knowing that no matter what, there is someone on this earth who will always, always love you and welcome you back even when you hurt them.

these girls make my life. no foolin'.

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

You know those pointless hours you spend in a car with your best friend? Those times where you're singing like idiots to the radio? I think those are my favorite times ever.

Whether we're headed somewhere epic, just hanging around town, or sitting in our driveways, I never have a better time than I do in those moments.

Long conversations or no conversations at all.

It's just like a breath of fresh air after you've been below water for too long.

And I think we all definitely need more of those moments.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

Is it better to be grateful for the memories or to to try completely forget them altogether? I'm not sure.

It would be a far better thing, I think, to remember the good times and keep them in your thoughts. But it's also quite hard to remember the good times when things've happened to put a stop to any more memories being made.

Perhaps you can simply keep those memories at the back of your mind, thinking of them only when something reminds you of how you used to me, who you used to be.

This blog serves as a personal outlet for me. I dwell on memories, I talk about who I am, and I give my opinions - as is the purpose of a blog.

I do not expect anyone to pay attention to me. If you do, then thank you for your time. There are better ways to spend it, I'm sure, but I appreciate it very much.

I have nothing witty, pessimistic, or optimistic for you. All I've got is this post and the only purpose of this post is to say to all of you out there listening; past friends, present friends, and future friends: thanks for the memories. Whether we speak again or not, I'll remember you.

In Reference to Valentine's Day.

It has come to my attention that, apparently, people who dislike Valentine's Day are ignorant. I would like to answer this statement in defense of my own personal beliefs.

I do not dislike Valentine's Day because there are tons of couples happy and being together. I do not dislike Valentine's Day because I'm bitter or cynical about love or being alone forever. I do not dislike Valentine's Day because I'm ignorant or stupid about the holiday. I do not dislike Valentine's Day because I'd prefer to sit at home, moping and being generally depressing. I mean, seriously, I absolutely agree with you, there's no room for any of that in my life (or yours.)

Do you want to know the reason I dislike Valentine's Day? The real, honest-to-God reason I dislike it?

Why should you devote one day to love? Is love so trivial and commercial that you should pack every sentimental gift, every cuddly stuffed animal, every kiss, every date into one day? Why should love only get one holiday? It's a beautiful thing.

I dislike Valentine's Day because it's turned love into a one-day-a-year thing. And this displeases me. Love is meant to be a 365-day-a-year thing.

You shouldn't give your loved ones - or yourselves gifts on Valentine's Day because of the pressure of the holiday, you should give it when you want to. You should love them everyday and tell them everyday.

Don't let the cards and pink fool you. You don't get off scott-free if you buy a heart shaped box of candy and then don't call your mother for three days. You've gotta let her know you love her. And that stuffed animal you're buying your girlfriend? It's not going to make up for the fact you haven't treated her to that date we both know she deserves. You shouldn't let Valentine's Day be the pinnacle of your love for the year. Shower those around you with affection - shower yourself with affection.

Love and be loved, every day of the year.

Now, to get back on track, my entire point of this is to address claims that my dislike of the holiday makes me no better than a bitter, ignorant high schooler. I am far from this. I've completed high school and almost three years of college. I'm closer to graduating with each passing day. And I feel I'm wiser than I once was - better, more capable of handling things. Because of this, I think I can safely say my dislike for Valentine's Day is perfectly fine.

I'm quite happy for those of my friends who are in relationships.
I'm even happier for those who are independent and completely happy with this.
I am happy for those who are currently seeking someone and will assist them as best I can. (I do not mind playing cupid.)

But I will not enjoy this holiday more than I enjoy every other day of the year. You may think it's special or unique because it's a worldwide holiday, but it'll be just another day for me. Another day of loving my family, my friends, and myself. And, personally, I'm okay with that.

I should think you will be, too.

My Month's Progress

Okay, so, thus far in 2010, I have accomplished the following:

1. I have an organizer - finally. I simply have yet to utilize it. I have high hopes for it in the coming months though. I just forget to write things down when I should. Ah, laziness, you shall be the death of my academic life.

2. I have sort-of cleaned out my car. I hope to do better in this in coming weeks, but, for now, I'm just taking it slow. Eventually it'll all get cleaned out, right?

3. I've made little progress on the self-love thing. I'm still almost exactly as I was when I wrote the blog. Maybe a little less optimistic currently, but that'll change. It's just a come and go sort of pessimism. My self confidence isn't always at an all-time low. People just assume it is. But whatever. I'll work on this, too.

Nothing much else has happened. I've been going to school (unfortunately) and hanging out with some friends. Additionally, I found my playstation earlier this month and have since taken to busting out Harry Potter every so often. It's a fabulous pass-time.

Not much else to report. I finally played cupid again and this time went much better than last time. (I blame last time on a mixture of Ben being Ben and Crystal showing up.) I'm glad it's worked out so far though. It feels good to make a positive difference in someone else's life. Even if there's not much positive going on in my life.*

*Read: This does not mean things are negative. It simply means there is a lack of positive. It can change though! Just have faith!

And now, my pets, I shall retire for January into the comfort of a bed that is not my own. Farewell, January 2010. Hello, February!

Growing Old & Growing Up.

Growth is a good thing. I think we can all agree that. It's good to emotionally mature and grow as a person and it's good to grow physically (so we're not all 4'0" our entire lives - not that there's anything wrong with that.)

But at the same time, the mere prospect of growing old and growing up scares the shit out of me.

It's not that I'm avoiding it. It's just that I'm having a difficult time accepting it. I love being young. No heartburn. No arthritis. Less prone to illness. Who wouldn't want to stay in their twenties forever?

Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to start a family and such, but it just seems too much like people are wishing their life away. I can't wait until I get out of school, I can't wait until I get married, etc. We should appreciate the time we've got right now - love who we are now. We won't be the same forever.

Just, you know, take a moment to step back, realize where you are, and embrace it. Life's not so bad afterall, is it?