I Can't Carry The Ring, Mr. Frodo, But I Can Carry You...

So, I realize that Lord of the Rings doesn't quite appeal to everyone; however, what does appeal to most people is friendship, which is exactly what this quote is about.

Samwise Gamgee cannot carry the ring for Frodo up Mt. Doom (because it is Frodo's burden to bear), but he can carry Frodo. And he, in his ever-present and unfailing ability to be absolutely loyal to his friend, does so... eventually leading to the end of the ring and, incidentally Gollum.

I, personally, think it's great when friends do things like this for you. When they realize that you have something troublesome... something that is such a heavy burden on you... And they realize they can't do anything about it... can't change it... can't make it go away... But they can be there for you and help you along throughout. They can listen to you and "carry you" even when everything seems like it's falling to shit. They'll tell you they love you, that people who don't are mentally instable, and that you are wonderful in spite of your burden.

I am beyond thankful to have friends like this.

Friends that love me when my family doesn't.

Friends that regard me as family.

I am so blessed to have these people in my life.

And, though I realize that sappy blogs seems to be becoming a theme (sorry about that), I must reiterate that I love them absolutely and will always, always be their Sam, Wilson, Ron, and other quintessential best friend for them throughout everything just as they have done for me.

Thank you so much.

I love you guys.

Hugs and butterfly kisses,

Melissa

I Need to Say This...

I love you guys.

Absolutely, you're the greatest people the world has ever known.

You deserve all the good and none of the bad.

You deserve the most wonderful lives that can be given.

Why?

Because you care about me.

You care in a world full of people who don't.

And that means everything to me.

That's why I want you to be absolutely blissful in your life, past, present, and future.

So when bad things happen to you, just remember... you never deserve them. You deserve only the best. And if you need me, I'll always be here.

Call me, text me, write me a letter, email me... Anything.

Thank you so much for everything.

Hugs and butterfly kisses,

Melly

/mushyletter

I Hate People Who Graduate on Time...

Or rather, I sincerely loathe them.

It's like they exist just to make the rest of us feel bad because we missed the mark. :/

p.s. Jenny, I think knitting would be nice! I could knit me a scarf! :D

We Await Your Owl By No Later Than... Today!

Tomorrow is September 1st and oh how I wish I was heading to King's Cross in the a.m. However, being both American and, regrettably, far over the age of 11 (please hold whilst I sob uncontrollably)... I'll remain here in Georgia. Glaring at every happy face I see.

Okay. I'm just kidding. There will be no glaring.

Or, well, minimal glaring.

You can't expect me to smile at everyone? I mean, I might see a 10 year old girl who is incapable of going to the bathroom by herself... and who can't tie her shoes. I absolutely can't smile at her.

Nothing really happened today; other than I was pretty productive. I did almost all of my EDU 344 homework and I did a lot of my math. So, that was good.

However, I had a thought today.

I've always thought I wanted to teach the really little kids. But the more I think about it... I really don't CARE what I teach. I just know I want to teach. I mean, I'd prefer NOT to teach middle grades (I'd kill them), but teaching 4th and 5th graders wouldn't be awful... and I could specialize in social studies (which is my favorite anyway.)

I think that'd be neat. But, you know, I suppose I'll just have to see what happens...

Aside from school (which, obviously, is insanely boring and not really worth of much mention), I still have absolutely no life.

I'm hanging out with Christy this Sunday.

And Meghan on Monday.

It's gonna be great. Additionally, I'm counting down the days until the weekend we go visit Jenny! :)

I wish more people wanted to make plans to hang out with me. But I fear only Meghan, Christy, and Jenny have the desire/make the effort to plan something ahead of time. Additionally, they're three of the only people who set aside free time for me. :)

Hopefully Christy and I can find a hobby to do. (One that cannot be purchased at HoLo.)

A writer's workshop would be wonderful, but generally you have to pay for those and, well, we're looking for free hobbies where we can make friends.

Any suggestions?

Probably not. (It's okay, Jenny~ Lol!)

Really, though, that's all I've got.

Trick or Treat?

Sometimes I wish that that Fate was a person. Someone who manifested right before your eyes when it came time to make an important choice.

Not mundane decisions, such as what flavour toothpaste to choose or whether to eat Cheerios for breakfast or not, but life-altering ones. Ones that could devastate you or leave you giddy with joy.

Fate should appear before you, tell you the choices you have... and talk it through with you; all the while never giving away the consequences.

Life would be so much simpler that way, don't you think?

But then, I stop and think... even if Fate were a person, we'd still make dumb choices. We'd still cry when we got our hearts mangled because we cared or invested too much in someone. We'd still curse ourselves when we said something stupid in front of someone we wanted to impress. We'd still say mean things, even if we didn't mean to.

Because humans are flawed.

Even with the choices in front of us, it's never evident which one is right. So we pick, cross our fingers, and go forward in our lives.

However, what if the choices aren't obvious?

Take me, for example.

I want to be happy, correct?

How do I go about doing this?

The simple choice is this:

To be happy or to be miserable?

Obviously I want to be happy.

But how do I do this?

What choices lie before me after this branch?

Additionally, I want to meet someone.

I want to date. I want to go to the movies. I want to feel pretty.

Choice:

Stay at home, go out and meet people.

How do I meet people?

I have no hobbies.

Get hobbies or don't get hobbies.

I suppose by now you see what I'm getting at...

All the answers aren't there. I can't make choices if there are no choices to choose from. And I need someone to hand them to me. I need some help.

So, Fate, even if you can't manifest yourself, I'd really love for you to throw me a bone and tell me what I need to do to be happy.

Thanks,

Melissa

Everything Looks Perfect From Far Away...

Recently, I've been writing more in my actual journal. Not really about anything. I merely muse upon Rupert and school and occasionally about what I've been doing or who I've been with.

Due to the fact that I've had to ponder over what to write in this journal, I've come a not-so-new realization.

My life is boring. The most uneventful life I do believe I've ever witnessed (aside from Jesse's.)

I really do need to find some sort of hobby... as I will undoubtedly be single for the rest of my adult life.

But I can't *do* anything. I have no skills. I'm awkward. I generally hate people. What the hell am I supposed to do? :/

And I can't expect my friends to come flocking to me, begging to spend time with me. Why not? Because, as I shall now reiterate, I am boring as fuck.

It's quite disappointing.

I Know You're a Sucker for Anything Acoustic...

Recently, I've had this rather huge problem with crying pretty much all the time.

Generally this happens when I'm sad or when I think about something depressing, which - here lately - has been quite often.

Thus far in the last twenty-four hours, I've cried for the following reasons:

1. I'm absolutely convinced I'm unlovable.
2. I can't afford Reinhardt and I really, really want to stay there.
3. My family doesn't care about me :(
4. The link for Wild Target worked, but only 'til forty minutes in.
5. See reason 1 once more.

I hate feeling so depressed.

But while I'm feeling like this, there are rays of hope.

Their names are Christy, Jenny, Kayla, Meghan.

I single these four out because in the past twenty four hours these girls have done something that made me smile instead of cry.

Kayla sent me a courage certificate that she took the time to make in Word. So now, Christy, Jenny and I, all have bravery... because she gave it to us! :)

Jenny made me smile by telling me this crazy story of our future lives. Christy and her gorgeous husband, her and her zoo, and me as one big happy family. It made me laugh.

Meghan gave me an idea for Halloween. She suggested I wear this blue Austen dress she has and be Jane Bennett because "I think you'd make a lovely Jane. You're just like her!" :')

And Christy... she reminds me that even when I'm being depressed and stupid, I've always got her, I've always got London, and I've always got Rupert.

So, in spite of being a complete DOWNER, I am so glad I have them... and the rest of my friends.

I love you all very much.

PostSecret.

Two weeks ago, my friend and I left two secrets in a Post Secret book in Barnes and Noble.

I went there early this week... They're still there.
It makes me wonder if anyone's found them and felt the same way.

Perhaps they don't share my secret, but maybe they share hers.

Because I know I do.

I feel exactly the same way.
And I wish I didn't.

Writer's Block.

I've been wanting to write for the past few days... yet everytime I open WordPad (because, sadly, my Microsoft Word trial is over!), I'm unable to think of anything. No words, no plot, no anything.

And so I just sit there, staring at the blank white page... waiting for some sort of inspiration.

:(

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."

So, orientation was today. And, admittedly, it was just as boring as my orientations at Berry (though far less stressful) and Kennesaw (though the people were nicer.)

I was thoroughly soaked in the process of gaining my ID and walking to my car; however, and only due in large part to Jeremy, armed with the trusty umbrella, was I successful in not completely drowning. (Read: Reinhardt is already better than Berry. My advisor was helpful (completely helpful - giving me a schedule of classes I needed and talking over them with me), the SOAR leaders weren't nosey or overly pushy (no pressing us to join the cults!), and, lastly, THEY SENT PEOPLE OUT INTO THE RAIN ARMED WITH UMBRELLAS TO KEEP US FROM GETTING WET.

Um, I have to say, this school is, by far, the best I've been to yet. (Sorry, Martha.)

I'm both excited and nervous; however, about classes. I'm taking Algebra... which makes me quite nervous. As well as some education classes... But hopefully I can get everything taken care of as far as tuition and books go and start this school year off right. It's just me... completely by my lonesome, but I can do it. I'm determined to make Reinhardt my last school. They're giving me the degree if they have to slide it in my cold, dead fingers. Haha!

Aside from the day being a huge bore, not much of notice happened.

I did talk to Jenny for quite a while and, of course, that was lovely. She's doing fairly well at JSU, though battling boredom.

As for me... I'm not going to Eagle Camp. Mainly because one of the Orientation Leaders said noone would notice if I was missing. (How true. I'm basically a Hufflepuff, aren't I?)
Instead, I'm going to bask in the bliss of continuing the adventure of searching for and destroying Horocruxes with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. :) They're about to be caught by snatchers!

That's really all I have to look forward to. Atleast until I get a reply back from the business office, letting me know SOMETHING. (Still, they're doing better than Kennesaw in this regard.)

Really, I think that's all I've got for now.

Aside from saying that only one person made fun of me today for liking Harry Potter (that I am aware of.) And he was a dick anyway.

For now, I'm going to go dive back into Deathly Hallows. Farewell.

p.s. I am sick of this phone. If I don't get a more reliable one soon, I'm crushing this one beneath my feet and never getting another cell phone. Ever.